I’m choking on my emotions
Fed up with my abortions
Aborted thoughts, that is
Thoughts that would lead to actions now nonexistent
Nevertheless, I’m dying inside ’cause I can’t find my way out of this
So many times, I sit and visualize
I see a better life
My dreams keep hope alive
But angst and frustration, procrastination and hesitation cohabitating in my equation
Creating a fallacy of rejection
Detouring me from my destination
My focus now lost in a world wide web of deception
Keeps me on my toes when I should be on my knees
Praying
Hoping
Believing
Maybe if I just keep the faith and do the work, the possibilities will turn into my reality
If only it were that easy…
See, I’m tired of trying to survive by working this nine-to-five
Bringing home just enough to make ends meet
And in the process I’m losing more and more of me
It’s hard to get up in the morning since I lost my focus
Putting in 40 hours a week at a job fathered by hocus pocus
Broken promises leaving me unconscious to my own conscience
There’s gotta be a way out
My change has gotta come
But until that change comes, I have to change me
I need to realize that I is I and I is me
No one has the power to change what is inside of me
God equipped me with what I need to be free
So, let me tune out the blatant waves of negativity
Change my thoughts and channel the frequency to a station of positivity
One day at a time I’ll regain my sanity
One day at a time my change is gonna come
Then I’ll succeed at truly being who I was created to be
©2006 Julia Blues
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